Trying to Get It Together (Emphasis on Trying)

A little messy, a little magical, and totally real

Hey there, friends long time no write! First things first, Happy New Year! I hope 2025 has been treating you well so far. And if it hasn’t? That’s okay too. There’s no rush to have it all figured out by January (or February, or even March, for that matter). Some years, we hit the ground running; other years, we kind of stumble into things, hoping to find our rhythm along the way.

If I’m being completely honest, I’m somewhere in the middle. I walked into this year with so many plans visions of discipline, consistency, and an upgraded version of myself. But now that we’re a little way into 2025, I’ve realized that stepping into something new requires letting go of some old things first. Old habits, old fears, old ways of moving through life that don’t really serve me anymore. And let me tell you that’s easier said than done.

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The Reality of the New Year vs. The Expectation

At the start of the year, I thought I’d have everything mapped out: a solid routine, clear goals, and a foolproof plan to finally step into the best version of myself. I wanted to be on top of my fitness, eating better, pouring into my family, and somehow making it all look effortless.

But real life? Real life said, “Let’s slow it down a little.”

I’ve been trying to find my rhythm, and if I’m being honest, some days are easier than others. Being a wife, a mom, and a working woman isn’t always this beautifully curated, picture-perfect experience. Some days, I feel like I’m killing it handling work, motherhood, and my personal goals like a pro. Other days, I feel like I’m just doing my best to stay afloat.

One Year Since My Daughter’s Diagnosis

And then there’s this other layer I don’t talk about as much one that’s been weighing heavy on me as we enter this new year. It’s been a year since my daughter was diagnosed with autism, and that still stings. I’ve been kind of in and out about my feelings with it, if I’m being honest.

Some days, I feel strong, focused, and ready to advocate for her in every way possible. Other days, it hits me like a wave, and I have to sit with the emotions I don’t always want to face.

No one really tells you what it feels like to be the parent of a child with special needs. The love? That’s endless. But the emotions? The unknowns? The moments where you wonder if you’re doing enough, if you’re being enough? Those can be heavy. I know she’s exactly who she’s meant to be, and I wouldn’t change a single thing about her. But I’d be lying if I said it’s been easy to process it all.

I’m learning, though. Learning to give myself grace, to take things one day at a time, and to trust that I don’t have to have all the answers right now. She’s happy. She’s loved. And that’s what matters most.

So, What’s the Plan?

Instead of stressing about having it all together right now, I’m focusing on small, intentional steps. Here’s where I’m at:

1. Taking better care of myself. Not just physically (though working out and eating better is on the list), but mentally too. Giving myself grace, being mindful of how I speak to myself, and making space for rest.

2. Allowing myself to feel. I don’t have to have all the answers when it comes to my daughter’s journey, and I don’t have to be "strong" all the time. It’s okay to process things at my own pace.

3. Family first, always. My daughter is growing so fast, and I don’t want to miss a second of it. I’m making it a point to be more intentional with family time, creating memories, and finding balance between my personal goals and home life.

What About You?

How has your year started? Are you thriving? Struggling? Figuring it out as you go? I’d love to hear from you let me know in the comments or reply to this email. Let’s check in with each other, hold space for wherever we are, and remind ourselves that growth isn’t about how fast we move, but how intentional we are with each step.

Here’s to finding our groove however long it takes.

Thanks for reading,
Kryshun